I remember when we were starting the year I shared with you my Challenges and one of my weekly ones was to Send a Thank you Note to someone each week.
Well, this was supposed to come in Week 4, but since the year began there has been turmoil after turmoil after turmoil and some more turmoil between us, until it finally broke us apart. I, however, train myself to stick to my word, I always love keeping my promises, especially those made to myself; and so here we are:
Soulja Boy, I have a lot to thank you for, and I will try to put it all here, I hope and pray you read to the very end.
When I first met you that Saturday in November, I did not think I would ever see you again, let alone become a friend of yours. From our earlier interactions, you seemed tough and principled (which I confirmed later), I didn’t think you would want anything else to do with me.
But as the days went by, you called, you implied that you had some other clients for me, I then thought to self, “well, maybe he will be my client.” I still didn’t give it much thought.
And then, the morning calls started coming in (for some reason I really miss these). At first, I was uncomfortable with them, I had no idea why you always called me in the morning… I mean, I was still ‘afraid’ of u… remember you were ‘the man up there.’ All my life, I stayed clear of people in authority, I didn’t wanna break the pattern at 30. But with time, the calls became enjoyable, I began looking forward to them, sometimes I would stay in bed and wait for you to ‘wake me up’… I was starting to like you.
Right about then, we had our first date almost a month later. It was a breakfast date, the first ‘unworking’ meeting at that time that I have ever been in. How we ended up with a date Monday morning, our schedules just didn’t match, whereas you wanted it in the afternoon, I was more comfortable with evenings, which time wasn’t favorable for you… but the breakfast one was also nice. Only thing is it came at a time I was fasting, so I watched on as you savored that omelette and African Tea. I was smiling all through, smiling at the multitude of interesting thoughts that were making rounds in my head.
Just to take you back to the night before, you requested that I dress up ‘formal’ because ‘many people know you at the place we are having breakfast’…this set off alarms in my head, “who is he? Why would he mind how I dress?” Well, that wasn’t hard for me, I love dressing ‘formal’ during the week. Then I also asked if you were tall, I needed to choose the perfect pair of shoes for the occasion, I didn’t wanna tower over my Monday-morning-date. I wonder if you remember your response, but in case you have forgotten, you told me you are huge and tall… this made me smile… I still smile at it.
I don’t really remember much of what we discussed that morning as I was half-present. At that point there were lots of things going on in my head… I couldn’t stop asking myself why it was me that you have been ‘chasing’ all this while… besides, aren’t you in a relationship with ‘the woman up there’?
Anyway, that I was yet to discover… Two things I so fondly remember were the hug you gave me when you walked in plus the compliment about my legs as we walked out. Did I mention u smelt so nice? Well, you did that morning and every time I met you.
I had to go into those many details because that was our first date, and a start to an eventful two months emotional roller coaster.
After that, we met quite often, once it was for me to give u toys for your boy… I still think this was one of those tests you said I passed. Many other times it was to just sit and talk over a meal, but one thing remains, you always told me how much you enjoyed my company. You don’t know how great this made me feel.
Please note, that all this is typed with a grateful heart… thankful for all the moments that I spent with you, they counted back then, they still count. They are sweet memories to me. Also note that I am steering clear of emojis… I have this feeling they will not represent my heart fully, so I will stick to plain words.
I must say December was a great month for us, despite the hitches like the evening they stole my bag. I hate regret, I would say I look to that day with regret… it’s just one of those days that won’t leave my memory too soon… and I am thankful that you put all that behind you and still came to my rescue… Soulja Boy , you are a great man, and I am thankful that once in my life God gave you to me.
I am thankful for all the times you called just so you could tell me about your day. Thankful for the times you shared your dreams about me with me. Thankful that you brought me into your heart, and eventually into your home.
I still remember the smile on your face when I handed you your Christmas gifts in that City Oil parking… wow! Same smile u wore when I handed you that pen… I had made a mental note to ‘kill’ you with gifts. Not that you needed them, but because I loved watching you receive them… it just made me wanna gift u over and over again.
Oh, and then the end of year weekend… you gave me your car, do you remember? You remained with none… wow!!! A million thanks Soulja Boy… what I wanna say at this point will probably need a new post on its own, so I will spare it. My highlight for that weekend was the before-midnight prayer we made… it felt so good, I became confident, I knew God had finally given me a high priest, the one I had always believed him for. As I closed my eyes in prayer that night, I saw u and I having a future so bright (today I wonder what exactly I saw).
And then before we knew it, January was here… my babies were here… we had a kind of complete family them, mummy and Uncle YOU… oh how we loved those nightly calls! Oh how they ‘pestered’ me to call their Uncle every evening… we had a great holiday, thanks to you our Uncle YOU!
It was beautiful until the babies left… to date I don’t know what happened after that… could have been the money… could have been the endless assumptions, but whatever was going wrong that time didn’t stop until that fateful night in February when I ‘pulled the trigger’
It’s been a month since then, and now I fully know why I told you what I told you then. It is pointless for me to go through it now. I laid my bed, I gotta sleep, be comfortable, and even dream in it… but one thing for ever remains, I haven’t stopped loving you. I miss you. I wish you were right here. However, that is for me to deal.
As I conclude my note, hope you always remember that somewhere in Uganda is a girl that loves you and prays for you. I pray that God will heal your back. I pray that your 2017 plan of developing your plot is reached. I pray that God watches over you and your family.
Thank you for making me feel everyone of those emotions I felt while with you, even after I quit… I appreciate the anger, the confusion, the feeling of being unwanted, undesired. I appreciate you ignoring me, reading my texts and moving on to the next. I appreciate making me feel that I am running after you. All those emotions made me learn how strong I am… when I first felt them (with my ex), I couldn’t do anything except sob, but now, I feel them, and I’m able to keep my head up. I text a bit of my heart to you, and you respond so coldly and I still afford a smile, I still go on with my work. Thank you for making me realize how strong a woman I am.
I still hope that one day I shall know why God brought you into my life, on such short notice and for such a short while.
Ps. I love you Soulja Boy!