The Cockroach-Toilet Tale

This thing about women and cockroaches is real… I have a feeling it was inherited from Eve herself😏 See, I’m a brave woman, I mean, I can do things that your ordinary girl wouldn’t do. An example is drive a truck, ride a motorbike, etc 

When I was 14 years old I got this strong desire for the motor bike, and not just these ordinary ones, but the monsters… well, we could blame the stage, but I wouldn’t if I were you. You know why? I still want to ride that gigantic noisy bike around the streets of this city! Back to when I was 14, I actually went ahead and looked for a bike to learn, there was this neighbor friend of mine who knew a friend who had one… so he ‘stole’ it, brought it over and he taught me… oh the feeling of riding a bike!!! It was like I had conquered the Ngoni Kingdom… I mean, no girl could dare to ride a motorbike back in the day, so for me I was like a heroine💪🏽 However, my adventure ended on the first day when my Mom learnt before she even got home that I had been seen riding a bike. She gave me a stern warning never to do it again… I remember her mentioning something about marriage… how no one can marry a rider😏 Being the good child I was (I can see someone rolling her eyes… hihihihi… oh yes, I was and still am a good child😁) I had to end it there and then, but at least I am to be counted among the brave girls!!!

Onto the track… still back in the day, at the University, I used to go for evangelism missions with Jesus is King Ministries. We would hire a truck for our transportation and this very truck would sometimes act as our platform to preach the Gospel during open-air crusades. Now you know the kind of truck I’m talking about… so one good day, I went and asked the driver for a chance to drive it… he thought I was kidding. Please note, I had never driven a car by then. So, being the good old Mzee Williams, he took me through the basics and then gave me the key… I ignited the car, attempted to move it even, but when he saw how resolute I was he ordered me to STOP! Well, I didn’t move it, but I attempted to… doesn’t that make me a brave girl? Judge for yourself…

Now I don’t know why certain things [read courage, bravery] disappear when you need them the most 😏 Last night, after a very good day and especially evening, I decide it was time for me to retire… as usual, the shower is what I do last before going to bed. On entering the bathroom, you won’t believe what my eyes landed on… you guessed right… a humongous, gigantic brown cockroach. It was resting majestically on one of the walls, its shiny brown wings contrasting so beautifully against the white tiles🙉… I don’t want to remember it even. Did I mention it had wings😳 I believed it could fly 😫 I thought of not showering just to give it enough time to get out as I slept, but then I imagined it flying into my bed 😭😭😭 At that point I knew I had to do something… I had to massacre this roach… I just didn’t know how to. I just could not. I couldn’t get myself near it.

Just to take you back a little bit, I really don’t like cockroaches (note I didn’t use the word fear🤓). In our happier days, Huby could get me to do anything with just threatening to bring a cockroach … I would literally get on top of the table if I saw a cockroach in the vicinity… it was so bad that my babies todate know mummy can’t do anything about a cockroach. I had them over for the Easter holiday, so my little Annabelle saw a roach, then she called on mommy to come do something… and Adonai being him told her, “Mommy won’t do anything, she is afraid of them” It was so embarrassing… I mean, I am supposed to stand up for them. Well, it was way up in a corner, I told them I couldn’t reach it and then silently prayed that God intervenes… He surely did. That monster disappeared somehow💃🏽

Back to last night, on realizing that I had no two ways but to face this insect head on… I tiptoed, got a sandal from the rack and magically managed to get it into the toilet… I immediately flushed… oh, I did that ka victory dance💃🏽 out of the bathroom. I was super happy, I had won!!! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 I celebrated 👯👯‍♂️Well, on going back to finally shower peacefully the monster was up again😫😫😫 

“But why Lord?” I cried out. Truth be told, I was boardering despair. Meanwhile it was too late, otherwise, I would have crushed at Paulina’s place. It was then that I remembered I have a metallic rod in a corner somewhere, I got it so in case of anything, I can use it in my defense… my heart leaped with hope. I reached for it, came and went into warfare with the monster. All I wanted was for it to disappear into the water, but the thing was big-headed, it instead tried to climb onto the rod. I got super angry!!!😡 I  stamped the rod onto the toilet with all the energy in me and yea, u can guess what happened… the bowl broke😒 and the cockroach went down the drain.

A bitter-sweet victory… mostly bitter! Yea, I had won the battle against an insect, but my toilet was broken😏. I quietly showered and went to bed way past 1am. Woke up in a somber mood, I have to replace the toilet today… I had swallowed, but then came Dr. BenK…

So, when I sent him WORD FOR TODAY he asked me how I was, and I told him how my toilet broke and all.. and then he is like, “they don’t fight cockroaches with rods, they use insecticide” 🙃 You should have seen how stupid I felt!!! Who fights insects with a metallic rod???

Well, my toilet will be fixed today, but also I am fumigating this very day. I know I am a brave woman (and no one can take that away from me), but I shall not be seen facing cockroaches again. So help me God!🙏🏽


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