So yesterday I cried, after like a month of no tears, not even when I am in the presence of the Lord. For some reason, my tear glands had become rocky. Anyways, I cried somewhere in January because I was feeling so alone and helpless, I wished I did not have to have the reins in my home. I longed for a head of the family at that time. I longed for someone other than me to have the final say.
The previous months have been so busy for me, God has blessed my hands with work, something I am so grateful for. And on top of all that, I had the children with me, For those that may not be following, I co-parent my babies with their father. So that period had me working as if two jobs and then parenting on one end. I know some of you are thinking that is normal, well, for someone who spends three months straight without the children, that was my plate being a little too full.
Back to the day I cried about a month ago, I got home this one evening after a very hectic day, to catch up with my writing project, the one that I would burn midnight oil for, and the laptop was not working. I think it would not have been as overwhelming as it was that evening if that particular laptop was not a replacement of another they had broken to pieces only a few days before. And then, I had a deadline to beat that very week, I needed to be writing. I have a phone, but I just never write seriously on my phone. I was stuck!
I looked at them, I did not know what to do with them, and in that instant I wished I had a husband. I am certain he would know what to do with is all. So in my helplessness, I resorted to the one thing that comes almost naturally in that situation. I locked myself in my bedroom, held a pillow to my mouth and screamed, allowing myself to feel the warmth of the tears as they effortlessly flowed down my chin. That evening my prayer was a few whispers to the Father above, and the rest has since been history.
Fast forward to yesterday, the next time that I cried; I was going on with my business as usual when my phone rang. The call was from someone whom I do not how to categorize in my life. He is not my friend per se, an acquaintance is also not very descriptive, but one thing for sure, he has had this very big crush on me for about five years now. And no, I am not counting, he just loves to remind me how long he has chased me for and how I keep on saying no ‘simply’ because he is married.
Anyways, I did not pick up the first time, then he called again about two hours later. This time round I reluctantly picked, thinking I already knew what he would say. I mean, isn’t that what he always says? Well, he did a number on me this time round, I was not ready!!! He told me all the things that he loves and likes about me, besides my eyes and legs. I was shocked!!! I had no idea this guy knew me as much as he does. You can’t blame me though, he always tends to talk about just the one thing he wants.
His praises for the many things I am turned out to be reminders to me for the many good things in my life. The many things I have done well that I never got to appreciate myself for. From ministry, to work, to parenthood, to just being me at all times. The many things that are going well for me amidst all that is seemingly not going as it should. I do not know when or how, but I started to cry as I took in every compliment. That was strange! I have never been one to feel things by words, or did I not know that side of me?
Okay, I know I love word play, where I get to read what others have written, whether to me or elsewhere. I then get to reply or comment, which sometimes turns into a thread of sorts. That I enjoy so much, in fact, I think I might have fallen for someone because of their beautiful writing. But that is a story for when I am on the hot seat. Anyways, the call went on and on, and at the end of those about twenty eight minutes, I had been reminded of who I am; I am a good woman, doing my best as CEO, mother, friend and all other offices I find myself in. I was this years old when I discovered that Words of Affirmation are also my love language.
Love, Me 
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